Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Rabbit Island Trip

I see the trees swerving in the wind.
It looks like they wants to fall down.

I hear kids shouting out.
As they run around.

I feel excited and cold.
Is it cold or am I nervous

2 comments:

  1. Hey John

    This is a good start. It needs a bit more detail, and the questions at the end...are they yours?

    Also, you have a sentence fragment in here. Find out what it is, and fix it up please.
    Your writing has potential.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love your swerving trees metaphor!

    ReplyDelete